I decided years ago to no longer allow myself to be overcome by fear. My eleven year old grandson has always encouraged me to not only embrace, but also utilize the world of technology which I’d intentionally made every effort to avoid (including cell phones). After seeing my progress since launching my blog on March 28th this year, I was overjoyed when I recieved a notification last week informing me that I’d reacched over five hundred all-time views. While pleased; the excitement isn’t due to views, likes, or followers, it’s because I was able to break down yet another barrier preventing me from moving forward with my goals. It wasn’t my writing that was a concern. Of course I pray and hope that readers will enjoy my work, gain insight by becoming encouraged as well as inspired. The concern was/is my constant struggle with the ability to not only focus but also lack of memory due to epileptic seizures. Learning new concepts that are seemingly basic for many, have proven to be a challenge for me.
I vowed that once I moved into my new apartment in March of 2020 that I would immediately start on my book, paying homage to my mother who I now know has suffered with mental health throughout her life but has never officially been diagnosed. That project came to a sudden halt while research led me to once again question whether or not she is my biological mother. Writing has been therapeutic for me since childhood but even with my daily journal entries, something was missing. As a motivational speaker, I’m always surprised after an event when I’m approached with tears of appreciation because someone was able to relate, shared a sililar experince or simply encouraged by my story. Due to the pandemic, speaking engagements were postponed. Something inside forced me to strongly consider another platform as a way of reaching out and sharing. I attempted blogging during my period of homelessness, but couldn’t afford the time nor effort required especially using a public library computer. So, I finally made the decision to purchase a PC which was a challenge in itself, order some “for dummies” books and get started.
Instantly I was overwhelmed by trying to figure out which was the right computer to purchase. Scrolling through my laptop, I had no clue what the difference was between an “all-in-one” as opposed to the desktops that came with a tower. The images shown were confusing because eventhough it said “all-in-one” there were no keyboards in the images leading me to believe I’d end up spending more money having to buy each individual piece (actually I’m not sure what I was thinking,lol). Thankfully the OfficeMax employee simplified the process and soon I had my computer. Along with that meant a desk and work chair I found for a little of nothing, assembling both by myself. Boom! Now I have a tiny yet sufficient office space, but it’s not time to get to work just yet.
I spent close to a month researching about the world of blogging. I’d heard about it, but didn’t know any details or specifics as to how it’s done. So I began reading. Blogging, Windows 10 and so on “for dummies”. I’ve always had trouble retaining the information I read and I learn best hands-on by simply jumping in and doing it. Once I found a hosting site I like,(after experimenting with a few) then came set up, design, etc. I’ll admit, I did reach a point where I was completely stuck and sought help but soon realized there was so much more I needed to do. My G-son, who was out of the state by now; reminded me as he had on numerous occasions, Youtube has tutorials to teach you practically anything. Still becoming refamilliar with basic functions of the computer like downloading, copy/paste, installing apps, etc I was a bit intimidated with using the computer until he informed me that I didn’t need to use my new PC because I have a “smart” T.V. How? Confused again, what the hell is a “smart” T.V.? That sounded a bit scary. He’d already set it up and programmed the features he knew I would utilize before he left the state. He even went as far as creating a playlist with my favorite songs knowing how I love music while cleaning. Wow, apparently I had everything I needed. Time to start blogging!
Although I have dozens of journals from over the years, filled with material to keep up my blog, for now I’m only posting once a week until I become more familiar with navigating through the site. I spend the week re-writing and structuring those journals in hopes of a smoother read for my audience. I stay mindful of not overwhelming myself posting too often then not being able to keep a set schedule resulting in disappointing those anxiously awaiting my next post. So I ask, please be patient with me, I’m working on it as I take pride in everything I do. Every week when I post, I notice and learn a new features of the site like the ability to translate work in other languages from various regions into english. I am excited by this discovery especially after meeting and hearing the poet Ziaeddin Torabi’s work translated in his native language of farsi. It was a beautiful experience, that initially sparked my interest in works from around the world.
I’m excited about this journey! Writing has always aided in my self care. It’s as if every word that reaches the paper allows me to take back the power that those who trespassed against me attempted to rob me of. Building community and sharing stories as well as experiences with others has been a true blessing. Regardless of where this journey leads me, I am proud of my growth in every aspect of my life. I CAN ONLY FAIL WHEN I DON’T TRY! My experiences are not only for me, but hopefully others as well. I am thankful and appreciate my new blogging family and all of you who have personally reached out to me.