Who You Callin’ a B.I.T.C.H. ?

The line may sound familiar if you know about Queen Latifah’s hit song “UNITY”. The “B” word is thrown around all too often in many scenarios. Personally, it’s what I was referred to on a regular from my mother during my childhood. Later it became a common weapon of insult by males (notice I didn’t say men) who’s ego’s were shattered after politely declining their advances. Eventually; though I never understood this, it became a popular casual greeting amongst female friends. “Hey bitch, how ya doin'”, “ooh bitch come go to this party wit me”. Turns out, I didn’t have many “friends” because when I demanded to be addressed by my name, suddenly I was no longer “cool”. Mainly due to the hurt of my mother’s use of the word towards me, I grew to despise it which usually led to a beat down after I grew older against anyone who referred to me as a bitch. At least that was the case until walking in to the job one day, all eyes were on me as my boss stood at the front of the conference room as he greeted me with, “there she is everyone, give it up for the badest B.I.T.C.H. of the company!!”

In my head, I saw myself responding with my hands around his neck and asking “who you callin’ a bitch?” I wasn’t concerned with loosing my job because I didn’t like it at all. I’ve never been good at selling anything, not even girl scout cookies as a child, but while witnessing the smiles on the faces of my co-workers as they applauded me, my instincts warned me to stay calm. That’s when I noticed the cake, a congratulations banner displaying my actual name hanging over a huge table covered with gifts. The boss held a tiny box in his hand that was open as he approached me almost glowing and said “great job Tammy, you did it”, while presenting me with the box. I’m thinking, what the hell did I do? Inside was a beautiful diamond broach with the letters B-I-T-C-H. He proceeded by saying, “Tammy, we’d like to present you with this award for being a Beautiful Intelligent Talented Chic Hustler!” Now confused and still somewhat irritated, I managed a smile once he assured me the diamonds were authentic. Apparently I’d made top sales that quarter, setting a company record.

Unfortunately that broach was lost in a fire with other treasured items, mostly photos of me as a teen and when I first had my children. Thankfully, I was able to retrieve most of them due to copies I’d shared over the years with their father and my mom, but I’ll never forget the two main lessons I learned that day. One is to think before reacting so quickly. The other, is that perhaps I wasn’t too bad in sales after all. I remember feeling as though I was stuck in that job for reasons I can’t recall. However, I knew that at the time I had to make the best out of it to provide for my child which began with changing my overall attitude about the job. You all may recall a time when people were out everywhere selling large bottles of fragrances for $20 each. We traveled to surrounding cities like Clearlake, Ukiah and Vegas taking me away from my only child at the time. Soon after being presented with the broach, my confidence rose to new heights which eventually led to an opportunity to open my own consignment shop. I rented a small retail space with low over-head and ran an ad in our local PennySaver for $12/mo, a free paper magazine for an assortment of advertisements that went out of circulation years ago. My office also provided space for people to view and purchase my art work that had previously only been viewed by those closest to me. I learned that I can do anything as long as I have faith, the right attitude and determination once I put my mind to it!

Published by 5thgenerationgirl

Tammy Wynette is a mother of three and a “G-MA” (grandma). Born in Warren, Arkansas, she currently resides in Sacramento, CA and is pursuing an AA degree in English at American River College, with plans to transfer to California State University, Sacramento (Sac State). She is an active leader and role model in her community, she works with teens sharing and teaching poetry, as well as providing insight for young parents to prosper. She has certificate from NAMI (The National Alliance on Mental Illness) and is a trailblazer & Griot, keeper of stories/traditions passed down from her ancestors. As an Author and motivational speaker it’d be an honor to present at your events to inspire, encourage & let our VOICES be heard! She has short stories and poems published in Our Black Mothers Brave, Bold and Beautiful!

70 thoughts on “Who You Callin’ a B.I.T.C.H. ?

  1. Now talk about turning a negative into a positive attribute Tammy. I admire your fortitude because you could have responded differently in that situation due to the negative attacks of the word growing up. Good for you! 👏🏽 👍🏽 🙌🏽 Beautiful Intelligent Talented Chic Hustler is quite an empowering way to use the term, and especially one of achievement. 🏆

    When I was called BITCH, a negative shade thrown at me, I asked “Where’s the dog? I’m Kym by the way.” The idiots had no idea that a female dog was called this. With a smile, I’d tell them to have a good day and I would walk away…two snaps and a circle! This is an empowering post my dear friend! 🤗 🥰 🤩

    Liked by 5 people

    1. See, your response must e another one of them Cancer traits because unlike you & my daughter I didn’t stop to think. I could never come up with something clever to say. I always reflect back to that moment though for various reasons, mainly to keep pushing through tough situations, knowing I CAN DO IT. Thanks sista girl.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hey Tammy, sometimes my “quick draw mcgraw” mouth got me in a bit of trouble! LOL 😱 Nowadays, hopefully I am making wiser choices, slow to speak and slow to anger. 😉

        Keep on pushin’ as Curtis Mayfield sang. YES, you can do this girlfriend! 👏🏽 🤜🏽🤛🏽 🙌🏽

        Liked by 1 person

  2. What an interesting and powerful story. I’m so sorry your Mom called you that. My Mom didn’t use cuss words at all but I certainly got labeled painful things. I can understand your reaction to that word. It is so weird that words like bitch and the N word get used on greetings and regular conversation now, along with song lyrics. I can imagine your gut reaction to your boss calling you that. That must have been a very profitable company to afford a diamond broach as an award. It’s wonderful they honored you and that it helped you gain more self confidence and self respect, leading to bigger and better things 🙂 I don’t enjoy selling things either and marketing was the most challenging part of my long time career as a holistic therapist, teacher and trainer.

    Your consignment shop sounds wonderful. Thrift stores and consignment shops are my favorite places to shop. And shopping for clothes and art goes together. Hope you are still able to get your art out there! You are inspiring.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks, I learned valuable lessons that day. Unfortunately the shop didn’t prosper, lol. I didn’t know anything about business at that age, but I’ve been blessed w/ wonderful opportunities along the way, leading me to what I love. Blessings my dear & have a great day..

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sorry about your shop. I’ve been working decades to fund and create what I call “Transformational Welcome Centers”. I’ve done tons of research for them. I’ve learned that I’m great at research and details, communication and pulling things together but I am clear that I will hire others to run the business and be the inspiration, big picture person, not management. I like to be creative and not have to drown in all the details.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. 💜 B.1.TC.1-1; well done for a great piece about words meant as insults and NOT!!! Taken as Such, Thank!!! YOU!!! for Sharing and Serving, Stay Strong and Serene


    Liked by 2 people

      1. 💎 – Diamond Hard – 💎

        💎 It Already Has SupaSoulSis, especially The “Bad” Ass Nigga Bitches and Awake, Aware, Alert “Males” so Continue to Own That SHIT!!! Don’t Worry about Losing 3DStuff it’s The Memory of The Thought That Counts; whenever Feeling Insulted EveryOne remember that ‘Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but Words Will NEVER!!! Make Me Moan and Groan Ever Again’…please don’t Get Me Wrong; it’s Crystal Clear Clarity that ANY Form of Bullying is Totally UnAcceptable so Walk Away from a Bully even if YOU!!! THINK!!! YOU!!! Cannot or Set Boundaries and Assert Them as The Bully Slowly Recovers a Semblance of Humanity…in Short; this means Holding Their Healing Space from a Distance until They ARE Ready to Step In To It and Heal Their Psychiatric Conditions EveryBody

        💎 – Diamond Hard – 💎


        Liked by 1 person

  4. Beautiful and inspiring story, Tammy! You’ve got a wonderful grit, determination and work ethic. And I’m glad that you were recognized that day by your boss and colleagues. As traumatic as the B word is for you, I’m glad this experience provided you with a different context and an empowering meaning.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Great post. Here’s my definition of a bitch: A strong independent woman with passionate opinions who stands up for herself. This is why I refer to myself as a bitch. I have made it a good thing. Love how being called a B.I.T.C.H. Inspired you.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. This is the most interesting story. Are you telling me that your boss had a diamond necklace created with the acronym BITCH on it? That sounds so strange to me, even if the reason was positive and turned the meaning on its head. I’m glad you didn’t strangle him lol

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Lol, no different than many of my bosses calling me Big Sexxy. Seems like some form of sexual harassment huh? It caught on before I knew it & out of respect due to the way I carry myself & handle business it eventually grew on me. I’ve been fortunate to have bosses who were like family & still really close today.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. A great story, touching and inspiratiinal. Now I know that bitch has a positive attribute to it. Beautiful  Intelligent  Talented  Chic  Hustler. Sounds pacifying. This has totally changed the way I view the word . I guess the meaning has changed the way you viewed the word from your mum’s mouth.

    Liked by 1 person

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