Empty Nest

One more ounce and I would have given birth to a 13lb baby boy, wow! My children (grandsons included) each have a unique role with in our immediate family. My son is the entertainer, always putting on a show making everyone laugh and the one I look to when I need cheering up. I suppose I’m being a bit selfish, but I miss my baby. I miss his soulful voice when he’s singing my favorites, wrestling with him or grabbing something I can’t reach since he was already 6 feet tall by the age of 12. As a kid he loved drawing, played nearly every sport. Most of my time was spent as soccer mom driving to and from golf courses soccer/football field and every type of mixed martial atrs studio there is. He has a beautiful personality and as he grew older all the younger kids in the neighborhood looked forward to hanging out with him. Teaching them how to do ollies and kick flips on the skateboard and simply being a role model. I’ve always been proud of him and I love him deeply. Now as an adult man married with a child and working a full time job, I don’t get to see him as often as I’d like. I tell my children use me while I’m here. Talk to me instaed of holding everything in, I’ll “listen”. I worry that the pressures of life get overwhelming for him, but he wants to be a “man” and feels he’ll bother me or stress me out with his problems. He struggled the most when I began having seizures and recieved an epilepsy diagnosis which is why I think he’s afraid he’ll be a burden. When he was two months old; although he was in the care of a babysitter, it was my daughter who was seven at the time who realized something was wrong with him. She called me at work several times and on that final call she told me she’s calling 9-1-1 because he hadn’t urinated all day (she was anxious to change his diapers) and he looked like a racoon, with two black eyes. The doctors said if he hadn’t arrived at the hospital when he did, he surely would’ve died from kidney failure. The thing is, I was told he was born a healthy baby. Turns out ( I can’t recal the technical name of the operation) he was born with part of his intestines missing and what he did have was wrapped around other organs is the best I recall his doctor’s explanation. They had to remove his appendix and put organs in their proper place. He was hospitalized for two months. When things get tough for him, I remind him how we (my daughter and I) were never afraid because he is here for a reason. God surely has a purpose for him and I’d like to share one of my favorite poems I’d recite to him in hopes of encouraging him to never give up, written in 1922 by Langston Hughes.

Mother to Son
Well, Son I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And Splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor-
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So, boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now-
For I'se still goin; honey,
I'se still climbin';
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

Published by 5thgenerationgirl

Tammy Wynette is a mother of three and a “G-MA” (grandma). Born in Warren, Arkansas, she currently resides in Sacramento, CA and is pursuing an AA degree in English at American River College, with plans to transfer to California State University, Sacramento (Sac State). She is an active leader and role model in her community, she works with teens sharing and teaching poetry, as well as providing insight for young parents to prosper. She has certificate from NAMI (The National Alliance on Mental Illness) and is a trailblazer & Griot, keeper of stories/traditions passed down from her ancestors. As an Author and motivational speaker it’d be an honor to present at your events to inspire, encourage & let our VOICES be heard! She has short stories and poems published in Our Black Mothers Brave, Bold and Beautiful!

68 thoughts on “Empty Nest

  1. So true that our grown children don’t want to worry us, as we get older. What they don’t know is that a mother worries from the time they are born. We have a seventh sense and know when our child has something on their mind. This is a lovely tribute to your son. Also how smart your daughter was at that age to notice something was not right, kudos to her. 💙

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my goodness Tammy, you have my eyes balling out here. 😭 Girl, you are truly courageous and so are your children. I admire the strength and resilience of all of you, even though things aren’t always as pristine as you’d like for them to be, you pay attention and persevere regardless. I truly admire how you deal with and have dealt with your seizures. 🙏🏼 You are truly a fun-loving mom and you can tell through your writing how much you love your children and grandson, in spite of what you endured growing up. I salute you Queen T! 👏🏼

    While you may feel like an empty nester, you have certainly left the nest open if your babies ever want to fly back home! 🐦 🐣 🦅

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re a great mom Queen T. 🤗 I admire that my friend! You can tell, no matter where they go or what they do, you will always be their Queen Mom. They, and you can take that to the bank!!! 💰 You’re priceless! 🤑

        Liked by 1 person

  3. That is beautiful poem and story you shared, Tammy. Your son’s journey into the world certainly sounded very rocky but your family pulled through and he’s grown into an independent young man! Kudos to you. And you are right to recognize that everything has happened for a reason. 🙏

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Heyyy!!! While I was up last night thinking of him, I couldn’t help but think of your family as well. Not sure why or how it all tied together, call me crazy but there are a few I’ve connected w/ on this platform who I feel I’ve known for a lifetime. You are one who I keep in my prayers, thinking of often and always wanted the best for you guys. Thanks my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you very much, Tammy. Those are very sweet words and a truly wonderful gesture. 😊 The prayers are appreciated – as are your insightful posts. Take care.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Amazing memories thank you for sharing. Your words of memories opens the door for moms like myself with are young ones still young to cling even tighter, spend more time, listen to each word they speak, and simply take a moment to stop and look at them with a gentle smile embracing each moment. The poem you shared is always amazing to read through keep up the good work

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. My most cherished position in life is being a mother, that is what helps me to keep pushing forward. My post “difficult Decisions of a Mother” was hard to share, but if it helps someone else out there, then I’m glad I shared it. Blessings to you.

      Like

  5. I miss my boys too and although they have their own homes now, I’m lucky to see them most days. There is something special about raising your own children – they take on our best and worst at times but the thing I enjoy most about our boys is their humour – it is an exact match for ours and we can look across the room and just grin at each other, without a word being said, each understands what we are all thinking. I love the way they love me, the way they cut wood in Winter or even take the washing off the line sometimes if they happen to be here. I’m so proud of the men they have grown into and understand the meaning of hearts busting out of chests – mine literally does that when I see them. Children are such a blessing in this world and adult children are ten fold that.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: