Big Sexxy

As a child, every weekend I looked forward to Saturday morning cartoons and for my stepdad to finish the Sunday paper so I could get lost in the comics section. Although I’ve always loved cartoons and animated movies, I was never entertained by comic books or superheroes. Not only were there none in mainstream popculture during my childhood who looked like me, there certainly were no women superheroes to whom I could relate to. Pam Grier came on the scene around the time I was born during the 70’s in the blaxploitation Foxy Brown films, but even in my later years I couldn’t identify with her character being someone to look up to or at the very least a superhero.

One so-called hero at the time who shared my skin color was Dolemite which in my opinion was a grotesque satire of every cliche created by blaxploitation. My parents along with their friends raved about the films. Once I revisited those movies as an adult, I couldn’t help but notice the same racial archetype of the “angry black man” often depicted as mad men seeking revenge on white America or black character’s played the role of a side-kick to white superheroes. It may be safe to say that these blaxploitation films were made in an effort to appeal to urban audiences but regardless, I was unable to relate. In the 20’s before superheroes hit mainstream, minstrel shows were popular entertainment. The images in the comics pertaining to blacks were racist stereotypes. The drawings depicted blacks, specifically woman as jezebel’s and being over-sexed. There were the “mammy’s”, domestic workers who’s jobs were specifically to serve whites. These charecters were dramatically portrayed as having huge lips as well as other voluptuous physical attributes.

Eventually superheroes of color became more popular on the scene with characters like “Black Lightening” and “Luke Cage”, but they were not my idea of what a superhero is, especially since becoming an adult experiencing life first hand. Besides they were still men, unrelatable to my plight not only as a woman, but also a mother. Not to take away from the beautiful Linda Carter as Wonder Woman, but the first signs I saw of woman heroes in relation to real life along with my passion for mythology were Jane Seymore as Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman and Lucy Lawless as Xena Warrior Princess. These were real women only not of color which is what led me to realizing I will become my own superhero “Big Sexxy”!


  • Super Hero name: Big Sexxy (w/2 x’s because I’m plus size, lol)
  • Powers: State of mind, confidence, resilience, determination, human kindness, integrity, love
  • Super Suit: I wear the Armor of God which shields me from negativity & those who doubt me
  • Mission: Fight by offering a VOICE to those who have yet to find their own and be an example for future generations

Those who choose to not keep an open mind may initially assume otherwise upon hearing the name; however, it has nothing to do with physical attributes nor sex appeal. I personally find intellect to be sexy. Reading a book or the willingness to continue seeking knowledge regardless of the amount of degrees obtained because there’s always more for us to learn. “Big Sexxy” is simply a stae of mind. The name was given to me decades ago as a sign of respect by those who recognize me as a leader in my community, know my integrety and how I carry myself as a mother and woman being a role model in various aspects. Surprisingly, it caught on and stayed with me through four states so I decided to own it. The way I conduct business ultimately getting results all while walking with my head held high with extreme confidence, determined to overcome any barriers are apparently traits that many seem to admire. Eventhough most days I’m uncertain of the right decision all while struggling with various issues along with everyone else, but I dont complain or show it. Instead I figure out another way. Superheros to me are those moms and dads who produce a full meal with only scraps or miraculously produce gifts under the Christmas tree during hard times. The foster parents and others who take on the resposability of caring for someone else’s child, etc. I believe we all have a bit of super hero in us, many simply havn’t discovered their powers yet. When you’re 14 and your mother tells you “you gone grow up to be fat and ugly just like yo aunt and ain’t nobody gone ever love you”, I had to find ways to fight that. Please understand that this is in no way about me thinking I’m better than anyone else. I have flaws as well and don’t feel a need to respond to insults or those who attempt to put me down because I actually am sad for them knowing the only reason for hurting others is usually due to lacking confidence, not yet knowing their worth. I simply like the person I am (inside & out) and I thrive to be better daily. I don’t need a compliment or a mirror to know my worth or see my beauty, for God shows me constantly weather others see it or not. All that matters is that I do!

Published by 5thgenerationgirl

Tammy Wynette is a mother of three and a β€œG-MA” (grandma). Born in Warren, Arkansas, she currently resides in Sacramento, CA and is pursuing an AA degree in English at American River College, with plans to transfer to California State University, Sacramento (Sac State). She is an active leader and role model in her community, she works with teens sharing and teaching poetry, as well as providing insight for young parents to prosper. She has certificate from NAMI (The National Alliance on Mental Illness) and is a trailblazer & Griot, keeper of stories/traditions passed down from her ancestors. As an Author and motivational speaker it’d be an honor to present at your events to inspire, encourage & let our VOICES be heard! She has short stories and poems published in Our Black Mothers Brave, Bold and Beautiful!

57 thoughts on “Big Sexxy

  1. Oh my, you have to forgive me dear, I struggle with technology & my disability makes it more challenging. I’m using my phone now. Not sure what happened, but I’ll fix it when I log back into my computer. This is why I only post once week, because I struggle sometimes.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Tammy, you hit several nails on the head within the body of your content. πŸ”¨ First of all, I agree with you 100% about the everyday superheroes who may not be dubbed for being extraordinary beyond measure, like those parents who make things happen when it doesn’t seem possible. πŸ’ͺ🏼

    Yes, you hold your head high when you know that you are walking with purpose, a Godly purpose, and your 4-point characteristics are what bring about your uniqueness. Own it! πŸ™ŒπŸΌ I too felt the same way about our views on the Blaxploitation times. While I too watched them, since they were our only representation in most of the films back in the day, they entertained but did not fulfill what I believe is the type of representation we were searching for. Of course girl, I loved me some Richard Roundtree! My high school band director wrote each piece of music for our band to perform during parades and football games. When we first played the score “Shaft” it was at the homecoming game of one of our main competitors. We had to literally run back to our buses to quickly get out of Dodge, not because of the fans, but the other band. They were weak that night! LOL πŸ˜‚ 😜 🀣

    Anywho, you know your worth, so own it Queen T! πŸ₯° 😘 🀩

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kym, this is starting to get weird in a good way. I never know what to respond to first. I purposely didn’t mention R.R. aka Shaft, because it’s a sensitive topic. At 8 I found out my stepdad was just that, when I asked my mom who my real dad was she said R.R. yes Shaft. Had me really believing that for years, changed my last name & everything for awhile. I think she really didn’t understand the harm & damage. While that is my bio dad’s name, obviously he wasn’t Shaft, smh. Thank you though, I was worried this would be taken the wrong way, but I write strictly from the heart.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. And you do a wonderful job with that Tammy. Remain true to yourself. Like you said you continue to learn, we all do girlfriend. No need for apologies. You didn’t offend, just enlightened. But that is rather weird that your biological father’s name is R.R. How odd. Plus, that was eerie for me to mention that at all. I need a drink!!! LOL 🍷 πŸ₯ƒ 🍸 🍹

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahaha, yeah I think I was around 19 when I first met him, but that a whole other stories. I feel like you’re helping to bring out what I’ve held in all these years & I love you for that. I may have a drink tooπŸ’•.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Great post. Yes, it is a tragedy that white supremacy has been the guiding force for cultural references for so long. All people of color, in all the races, were left out for so long. History has been written to honor colonization, divide and conquer, skewing facts to fit the agenda. Seems to me, too, that it has been superficial qualities such as looks, power over others, etc. that were the model for most super heroes. Intelligence, compassion, integrity and other positive qualities were often left out of the equation. Women always took the back seat.

    It’s great you found a way to empower yourself, a model of who you choose to be, honoring the gifts YOU carry and embody. You walked the heroes journey and claimed your truth. Thanks for all you bring to the world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh wow thank you so much for the encouragement. I was so worried about sharing this because I love all, even when they don’t love me I just didn’t want it to be taken as a negative. It sounds like you get exactly where I’m coming from & it means a great deal. It takes too much energy to hate & be cruel & I pray that everyone discovers the super hero in them. β€οΈπŸ™

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’ve always been interested in the history of Marvel and DC comics. I have to admit I do like Black Panther and Luke Cage. But I take your point about a lack of strong female role models. The world of comics has always been dominated by men but hopefully that’s starting to change.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. This is a wonderful message, Tammy, and that inner self confidence truly is a beautiful thing.

    I agree that growing up, the lack of representation in popular culture, like superheroes and comics, was quite lacking.

    It is so wonderful to see greater diversity these days in comics and movies, such as Black Panther and the recently released Shang Chi. BIPOC characters with depth, 2SLGBT characters and even characters where faith is not seen as something divisive but of a healing quality. And female characters that come in all shapes and sizes (like the recent She-Ra reboot).

    Imagery and what kids see growing up is so important in helping them shape their self concept!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Way to go Big SexxyπŸ₯³
    I like that confidence and all your super powers.
    I haven’t discovered mine yet. I guess this is how I begin to re-evaluate myself.
    Bless you πŸ’™

    Liked by 2 people

  6. An empowering message for women and all those who struggle on a daily basis to survive the day’s huddles and to find value in themselves!

    I appreciate the extra x in the name! LOL

    Your strength and the lessons you had to learn from a childhood with full of hardships really shine through πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Studying and analyzing racial archetypes/caricatures is something I love to do, so this post really spoke to me! Getting representation in the media we consume as black and poc women is so vital to our self understanding and confidence!

    Liked by 3 people

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