As a child, every weekend I looked forward to Saturday morning cartoons and for my stepdad to finish the Sunday paper so I could get lost in the comics section. Although I’ve always loved cartoons and animated movies, I was never entertained by comic books or superheroes. Not only were there none in mainstream popculture during my childhood who looked like me, there certainly were no women superheroes to whom I could relate to. Pam Grier came on the scene around the time I was born during the 70’s in the blaxploitation Foxy Brown films, but even in my later years I couldn’t identify with her character being someone to look up to or at the very least a superhero.
One so-called hero at the time who shared my skin color was Dolemite which in my opinion was a grotesque satire of every cliche created by blaxploitation. My parents along with their friends raved about the films. Once I revisited those movies as an adult, I couldn’t help but notice the same racial archetype of the “angry black man” often depicted as mad men seeking revenge on white America or black character’s played the role of a side-kick to white superheroes. It may be safe to say that these blaxploitation films were made in an effort to appeal to urban audiences but regardless, I was unable to relate. In the 20’s before superheroes hit mainstream, minstrel shows were popular entertainment. The images in the comics pertaining to blacks were racist stereotypes. The drawings depicted blacks, specifically woman as jezebel’s and being over-sexed. There were the “mammy’s”, domestic workers who’s jobs were specifically to serve whites. These charecters were dramatically portrayed as having huge lips as well as other voluptuous physical attributes.
Eventually superheroes of color became more popular on the scene with characters like “Black Lightening” and “Luke Cage”, but they were not my idea of what a superhero is, especially since becoming an adult experiencing life first hand. Besides they were still men, unrelatable to my plight not only as a woman, but also a mother. Not to take away from the beautiful Linda Carter as Wonder Woman, but the first signs I saw of woman heroes in relation to real life along with my passion for mythology were Jane Seymore as Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman and Lucy Lawless as Xena Warrior Princess. These were real women only not of color which is what led me to realizing I will become my own superhero “Big Sexxy”!
- Super Hero name: Big Sexxy (w/2 x’s because I’m plus size, lol)
- Powers: State of mind, confidence, resilience, determination, human kindness, integrity, love
- Super Suit: I wear the Armor of God which shields me from negativity & those who doubt me
- Mission: Fight by offering a VOICE to those who have yet to find their own and be an example for future generations
Those who choose to not keep an open mind may initially assume otherwise upon hearing the name; however, it has nothing to do with physical attributes nor sex appeal. I personally find intellect to be sexy. Reading a book or the willingness to continue seeking knowledge regardless of the amount of degrees obtained because there’s always more for us to learn. “Big Sexxy” is simply a stae of mind. The name was given to me decades ago as a sign of respect by those who recognize me as a leader in my community, know my integrety and how I carry myself as a mother and woman being a role model in various aspects. Surprisingly, it caught on and stayed with me through four states so I decided to own it. The way I conduct business ultimately getting results all while walking with my head held high with extreme confidence, determined to overcome any barriers are apparently traits that many seem to admire. Eventhough most days I’m uncertain of the right decision all while struggling with various issues along with everyone else, but I dont complain or show it. Instead I figure out another way. Superheros to me are those moms and dads who produce a full meal with only scraps or miraculously produce gifts under the Christmas tree during hard times. The foster parents and others who take on the resposability of caring for someone else’s child, etc. I believe we all have a bit of super hero in us, many simply havn’t discovered their powers yet. When you’re 14 and your mother tells you “you gone grow up to be fat and ugly just like yo aunt and ain’t nobody gone ever love you”, I had to find ways to fight that. Please understand that this is in no way about me thinking I’m better than anyone else. I have flaws as well and don’t feel a need to respond to insults or those who attempt to put me down because I actually am sad for them knowing the only reason for hurting others is usually due to lacking confidence, not yet knowing their worth. I simply like the person I am (inside & out) and I thrive to be better daily. I don’t need a compliment or a mirror to know my worth or see my beauty, for God shows me constantly weather others see it or not. All that matters is that I do!