The Blind, Beautiful Faith of a Child

Note: The following story, along with several of my other works are featured in Our Black Mothers: Brave, Bold & Beautiful. This is a piece I’m extremely passionate about for various reasons. During my first few readings I was overwhelmed with joy by how it touched and resonated with the audience, resulting in future invitations to read and or speak from the heart regarding my experiences as a mother and what I’ve learned. I’d like to now share with you. (Tim’esa is shown in the above image of the book cover on the top row and far right with the beautiful smile).

My mom left me to believe I had the flu when I was 17 and had been hanging around the house for over a week vomiting, but the reality was that I’d soon become a mommy myself. Although, I wasn’t quite sure what a “mommy” was because I’d never experienced that particular relationship growing up. I had never even held a baby or changed a diaper. Yet, the instant I rubbed my belly, I knew that I would indeed be the best mother I could to the person growing inside me. Immediately I’d fallen in love with my child and in that moment there was no preference whether it was a girl or boy. Eventually I gave birth to three children over the years, but my first precious gift came on July 13th 1990 at 7:13am. I named her Tim’esa.

Being a mother has been my most cherished position in life. Even now as young adults, my children and I continue to have healthy and positve relationships even though there are constant challenges for everyone during their journey’s. While raising my children as a single mom, it has always been important for me to express honesty, love and communicate openly which happens to work both ways. I was always the “momma” which I made clear. However, life has taught me that it is especially important to listen to children. Some parents often get hung up on a power trip feeling as though their way is the only way, particularly in the old days when kids simply didn’t have a say. Yet in this day and age many of us depend on our children for input, mainly for things such as all this new technology. I personally had a hard time coming from the era of eight tracks to cassettes and from VHS to DVD’s and now iPods. I refuse to have a cell phone!

Wise mother’s learn just as much from their children as the children do from them. Children need to know they have a VOICE too. I stongly believe as human beings and children of God we can all learn from one another. At the age of four, Tim’esa and I had recently moved to a new state. We didn’t have alot and the first few days we only had enough food for her to eat. As we curled up on the floor of our unfurnished apartment, I held Tim’esa in my arms as she wiped the tears from my cheeks. She looked up into my eyes and said, ” Mommy, you know God has boxes with our names on them with everything we need up there. All you have to do is pray and ask him for it”. I admit that I wasn’t paying much attention to what she said to me at first because it wasn’t making sense. She made sure I was listening though when she said, ” He doesn’t hold what we want momma, only what we need”. Before that day, I’d never actually prayed nor was I sure how to. On that day my four year old told me “just talk to Him momma, He’s listening”. She explained to me that he actually hears us whether we talk or not because when it comes to God, even our thoughts are not private.

I was reminded of a valuable lesson that day. Somehow over the years I allowed my faith to get away from me. Later in life as my children grew older, I began to realize that the Lord had not forgotten about me. It was through my children, His cherubs, that he saved me. I was headed down a very dark, destructive and rebelliuos path. I allowed rage to overcome my heart, basically giving up. Becoming a mother restored my faith as well as my strength. I now have my babies who depend on me. Before that day, I don’t recall how many times or if ever Tim’esa had been to church. To this day, I’m still not she where she learned what she taught me that day about prayer, but the sincerity in her VOICE and the serious look in her eyes is one reason I’ll always remember that day and listen when a child has something to say.

As mother’s, we tend to be very protective of our children. Once my daughter began junior high, I was worried about the friends she’d make. Everyone always seemed to adore Tim’esa where ever she went. However, I’d warn her about befriending the “pregnant girl” concerned that such a girl would be a bad influence on my baby. I hadn’t realized or considered that I taught Tim’esa to think for herself. She was not only strong, but had proven to be a leader and very independant. One day she told me, ” momma, my friends don’t have to be a bad influence on me. Why can’t I be a good influence for them”? Silly me for never considering that perspective. It was almost as if she’d purposely seek out the troubled kids, somehow sensing they were in need of a good friend. She had never given me a reason not to trust her(other than always stealing my last slice of watermelon) and once again it was a reminder from my child to exercise my faith.

Published by 5thgenerationgirl

Tammy Wynette is a mother of three and a β€œG-MA” (grandma). Born in Warren, Arkansas, she currently resides in Sacramento, CA and is pursuing an AA degree in English at American River College, with plans to transfer to California State University, Sacramento (Sac State). She is an active leader and role model in her community, she works with teens sharing and teaching poetry, as well as providing insight for young parents to prosper. She has certificate from NAMI (The National Alliance on Mental Illness) and is a trailblazer & Griot, keeper of stories/traditions passed down from her ancestors. As an Author and motivational speaker it’d be an honor to present at your events to inspire, encourage & let our VOICES be heard! She has short stories and poems published in Our Black Mothers Brave, Bold and Beautiful!

88 thoughts on “The Blind, Beautiful Faith of a Child

  1. That was an emotional and touching story, Tammy! Whatever you’ve shared, seems like Tim’esa is very mature and a strong independent girl. Says a lot about the values you shared with them as their mother. More power to you and Tim’esa πŸ™Œ

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  2. This is so powerful. I too was pregnant at 17…different circumstance and outcome, which I may or may not write about at some point. I remember thinking I had the flu…
    You are so right that the best gift we can give our children is the ability to think for themselves. That, coupled with resilience and grit, will take them far.
    Thank you for sharing this!❀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, I truly appreciate your feedback. My daughter no longer attends events when I’m reading this particular piece because she cries and it makes me cry, lol which I can’t be doing in front of an audience. I’d think by now I’d be over that stage, but it touches me everytime I read it. never realized how it would touch others. Hugs my dear!!!

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  3. What a beautiful post. I’m glad you had and still have wonderful relationships with your kids. I also loved being a Mom and I always thought my son was my best friend, and he always said I was his. But then he left my life and has been gone over 14 years now, not responding to any overtures I’ve made over the years. I decided though that he can’t take my motherhood from me, nor can he undo all those years I loved being a Mom.

    Blessings to you and your children!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I can relate my dear. My son hasn’t been speaking to me much . No call for mothers day or my birthday & at first I was hurt & confused because there was no apparent reason I could think of. Thanks to community/friends there are people that look out for him on my behalf. he & his sister are tight & although not directly, he reaches out to an extent in his own way even if only to let me know he’s thinking about me. I just miss him so much, but I’ve always leaned on them and I know I have to let them live their lives and not suffocate him. Blessings to you my dear & thanks again.

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  4. This was a beautiful post, Tammy. I didn’t realize you had your firstborn at such a young age. When I think about and look at 17 year olds today, I say, wow, such babies in life still discovering the world. So good for you for having to and successfully growing up very quickly.

    And I agree wholeheartedly about adults learning from kids. Kids keep us young and keep us honest. And what a lovely message about God and faith and believing in others and in goodness your daughter imparted on you. A true blessing indeed.

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    1. Thank you so much Ab. her faith has always been strong and I didn’t understand for a long time, but I would observe how she’d deal with conflict and other negative situation, never having to fight or really get angry. I was confused & afraid she was letting people walk over her, but that wasn’t the case at all. She knew that with God those behaviors weren’t necessary. She used her brain & mouth and responded with love resulting in her ability to reign supreme, often altering the perspective of others. I still learn from observing both my children and grandson. As always I look forward to and appreciate your input.

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      1. She definitely has a great approach! Sometimes taking a measured approach is a sign of great strength and restraint for sure! πŸ‘πŸ€žπŸ» Way to go to your and your daughter!

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    1. Thanks so much. It’s like we all have our roles in this family. She reminds up to keep our faith, my son always knows how to cheer us up in hard times & my G-son is the first to learn & teach us all the latest technology, lol.

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  5. OK Tammy, I’m crawling off of the floor now, having cried my eyeballs out. πŸ˜– I actually had to take my contacts out and put on my glasses! 😭 πŸ‘“ πŸ˜₯ Girl, I simply don’t know where to begin. First of all, Tim’esa is truly an old soul. At the age of four, she sounded like a 40-year-old. You know I agree with you that we should listen to our children, you don’t have to be their friend, but be their parent. Part of that parenting includes instructing as well as listening. You learned something valuable, something that touched your heart and soul.

    Children, for the most part, have an insatiable awareness and usually they haven’t been tainted by the ills of the world yet. πŸ™πŸΌ They are so innocent. This story has me choked up still. I truly admire your courage whether you realized you had that kind of power at that time or not. God gave you strength and there is nothing more that I can add to your daughter’s wise words. πŸ€— Cherubs. I love that. πŸ’– Your children are the branches from your trunk and obviously, you have taught them well. πŸ₯° This is a beautiful composition. Did you get your book published already? Inquiry minds want to know! πŸ€”

    Here’s to your health and happiness QT! πŸ₯‚ I’m going now so I can put a cold compress over my eyes to help reduce the puffiness. 😱 Ciao! 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well, that book is an anthology I was asked to be a part of. I’ve been working on my book in honor of my mother, but it’s been an emotional rollercoaster.
      The flip side in my error w/ my baby is that I believe I put too much pressure on her, but everything & everyone she touched turned to gold. I’ve watched her do all these amazing things on her own thinking I was being supportive, but in early adulthood she began feeling she had to live up to those qualities. As hard as I try to undo the damage she’s just too overwhelmed. Political Science was her major. Since age 7 she’s been studying law & swore til she turned 18 she’d be the first black female president. By the way she’s had grey hair since 4 too. I always felt she was smarter than me in many ways & I had to work twice as hard staying two steps ahead but never could catch up, lol

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      1. You don’t have to catch up girl. You and your daughter are operating at your own speed. FYI, most Cancerians tend to be overachievers, putting undue pressure on themselves to be the best and do their best. You know I know! LOL πŸ€—

        I think you need to go to bed now! You got all of your readers out of sorts right now. πŸ˜‰ But think about how many hearts you touched today! πŸ’– πŸ€” πŸ’ Keep forging ahead. And congratulations by the way, if I didn’t tell you on being a part of that emotionally-charged anthology. Writing about the people we love can be an emotional rollercoaster. But, obviously, you did it girl!!! Bravo!!! πŸ‘πŸΌ πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ πŸ™ŒπŸΌ

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  6. This is so beautiful thank you for sharing your heart. It put a really nice smile on my face while reading and I can’t stop my self of sending lot of blessing to Tim’esa. You both are truly blessed. πŸ™‚

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    1. Thanks so much, I appreciate your words. I do feel at times people/family don’t understand or know me because they don’t know my story so that’s one reason I started writing again. Blessings my friend!

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  7. Hi Sister Tammy!
    Beautiful job of expressing a special reality and actually the miraculous power and mystery of God Almighty a work in our lives if we are receptive and abiding in Him! And children being so innocent and pure heartened which is actually what God wants us all to be even as adults to be that humble and pure of heart so he can come into our hearts and provide all for us while we travel this at times difficult path but with Jesus walking with us that closely we have nothing to fear and all will be ours in good time for the asking if it be the Father’s will which is only, all good!

    Matthew 21:16 β€œ16 They asked Jesus, β€œDo you hear what these children are saying?”

    β€œYes,” Jesus replied. β€œHaven’t you ever read the Scriptures? For they say, β€˜You have taught children and infants to give you praise.”

    Psalm 8:2 β€œ2 You have taught children and infants to tell of your strength, silencing your enemies and all who oppose you.”

    β€œOut of the mouth of babes You have perfected praise means the praise of little children is perfect praise. It is perfect because children can comprehend the realities of God’s kingdom that even the most learned fail to grasp (Matthew 19:14; Mark 10:13–15; Luke 18:16–17). Children are not blinded by pride and hypocrisy and are better able to perceive spiritual truth (Matthew 18:3–4.) Jesus accepts their worship because it is untainted and reserved for God alone.” gotquestions.org

    Isaiah 41:10 β€œFear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

    Joshua 1:9 β€œHave I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

    2 Timothy 1:7 β€œFor God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

    Psalm 34:4 β€œI sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.”

    Psalm 27:1 β€œOf David. The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”

    Romans 8:31 31”What then shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”

    And so you did your job well as here we arrive at the whole meaning and purpose of what your beautiful little daughter taught you because Jesus was with her and speaking through her to you and the world!

    Luke 18:16 15 β€œNow people were even bringing their babies to Jesus for Him to place His hands on them. And when the disciples saw this, they rebuked those who brought them. 16But Jesus called the children to Him and said, β€œLet the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them! For the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 17Truly I tell you, anyone who does not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

    Yes you’re so right your daughter has a voice that should be heard just like you stated; as do all the children, and open loving communication is good for all involved! God has told us so and therefore it is His will!

    Thank you! And may God bless you and yours richly!

    Brother in Christ Jesus,
    Lawrence Morra III

    Liked by 1 person

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