Of All the Gifts…

Years ago, while enrolled in a “college success” course, the professor asked us to write our eulogies based on what we think our loved ones would say after transitioning. Instantly I became overwhelmed with anxiety by the thought of regardless of who spoke at my funeral, the only memorable events people seemed to always recall were those that involved me in a physical altercation. My main concern was that my brother would be the ringleader in rehashing those moments I’ve never been proud of nor considered humorous. I’ve always said (even before this assignment) that I don’t want a funeral. I’m not fearful of death, it’s simply that when my time does come, I don’t see any reason for people gathering to say goodbye when many didn’t bother to say hello. Thankfully though, my brother assured me along with a giggle as if my concerns about what he’d say when my time does come were absolutely ridiculous, that he wouldn’t dare speak of those encounters. I beg to differ since he is in fact the jokester of the family. Although he did compliment me by acknowledging my growth over the years and recognizing the many positive aspects of my life to reflect on.

That day in class caused me to reflect on my choices and decisions during my earlier years. One day while teaching my oldest grandson who was only 3 at the time, how to ride a bike, I realized I was responsible for so much more than what I give while I’m still here. Quality time, laughable moments, great memories and lessons learned are all valuable; however, to me what’s just as important consists of the traditions and the overall lasting impacts of my faith and character. These are the gifts of my legacy I want to one day pass on to my children and grandchildren in hopes that they will keep the stories of our family alive as well as thrive in their own endeavors, becoming trailblazers for future generations.

Over the years my children have watched me continue to get back up, regardless of how many times I’ve fallen. We’ve openly discussed difficult lessons learned due to making bad choices which on occasion led to unpleasant consequences. They eventually came to understand why it has been vital to arm myself with knowledge and faith by reading and listening to prepare for whatever life throws at me. I may not have won every battle, but I felt equipped at the very least mentally with having the right mindset in handling situations as opposed to giving up or giving in to sinful temptations. Some of those battles include not burning bridges yet able to have a positive attitude knowing it’s ok when someone walks out of our lives. Accountability and keeping your word are major attributes in my opinion. There was a time when all I had was my word to live on. Knowing how to improvise and account for variables is important. There are always unexpected twists in life. The law of averages will always kick in as well. If you put in the time in effort, eventually it will pay off. Never be too proud. If I’m mucking stalls, at least I’m earning wages until something better comes along. Everyone will need help at some point. There’s not much I’ve if anything, I’ve accomplished “all by myself”. Somehow, somewhere, someone opened a door for me. They may have told me about a job, even something seemingly small like offering a pen to fill out that application when mine ran out of ink. Maybe it was a prayer or good advice to help get to the next stage. Pick and choose battles wisely, but don’t be a doormat. The list goes on of course. The light bulb clicks at different times for different people and the lessons never cease. I too am still learning, yet of all the gifts I’ve given my children and grandchildren, these are the ones to cherish.

Published by 5thgenerationgirl

Tammy Wynette is a mother of three and a “G-MA” (grandma). Born in Warren, Arkansas, she currently resides in Sacramento, CA and is pursuing an AA degree in English at American River College, with plans to transfer to California State University, Sacramento (Sac State). She is an active leader and role model in her community, she works with teens sharing and teaching poetry, as well as providing insight for young parents to prosper. She has certificate from NAMI (The National Alliance on Mental Illness) and is a trailblazer & Griot, keeper of stories/traditions passed down from her ancestors. As an Author and motivational speaker it’d be an honor to present at your events to inspire, encourage & let our VOICES be heard! She has short stories and poems published in Our Black Mothers Brave, Bold and Beautiful!

31 thoughts on “Of All the Gifts…

  1. “Accountability and keeping your word are major attributes in my opinion.” Yes this is so important as are the rest of your points. Remember you are a survivor. Wasn’t that your super power? And a good mom and so much more. You have an amazing legacy. The constant learning and improving you do speaks volumes. Such a great post!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh how sweet that you remember that previous post, thank you.
      I don’t want my children to get caught in thinking material possessions are what’s important. I’ve survived mainly due to my character and mindset. I pray they’ve learned a bit of something from me at the very least, lol.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ironically, it was my son I worried most about and turns out my daughter who’s the oldest stresses me the most and she knows it, haha. They both make great contributions though in their own way and most importantly, in their own time.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It sounds to be Tammy that you are leaving quite the legacy behind one day. And you have many more chapters of positive stories to write in your book of life that will be left behind for your family one day.

    It’s very enlightening, isn’t it, that what we zero in on during these reflections about life and death are the time we spend with loved ones, because that is what truly matters most in the end.

    Hope you have a nice weekend ahead!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I guess we all start thinking about our legacy sooner or later. Sounds to me like you have nothing to worry about and don’t worry about the fighting stories, that’s what make you human and special 💕.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. And all that matters is that you kept getting back up. 🙂 Like you, I too have a past, and like you I kept getting back up. We wouldn’t be who we are today, nor have the wisdom and strength required to be a beacon of light for the younger people in our lives.
    Your beautiful testimony is truly a gift, and if I were to speak about your life, I’d say, though the yarn has a few tears, oh what a wonder tapestry you have woven.
    God bless you, love & light.


    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow, life has taught many valuable lessons. I couldn’t even imagine myself thinking of what my eulogy would sound like until you mention it. It’s sometimes good to think along those lines. Amazing thougts. Failures and hardships are all full of lessions.

    Liked by 1 person

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