Mother’s Day Reflection

During the weeks before; as Mother’s Day was approaching, I couldn’t help but think about all the people I know who unfortunately no longer have their moms. I’m not sure why my thoughts became so overwhelming nor why I, for a moment felt guilty to still have my mother here. Friday before Mother’s Day was great! My daughter and I went shopping to get outfits for our church Tea Party on Saturday, which I had no intentions of attending until the last minute. We ordered lunch and cocktails at a nice restaurant and laughed nearly the entire time. Yes, that laughter I spoke of last week that hurts in the gut and gets you lightheaded but feels amazing at the same time.

Sunday morning, I enjoyed a beautiful uplifting service. I love knowing that I end up feeling much better coming out of church than going in. By the time service was over and because it had already been a busy weekend, I’d planned to spend the remainder of my Sunday by simply resting. However, instead of sleeping, I mostly wept. Some tears were sad while some came from comfort and reassurance. Repeating to myself the lines from the image above which is similar to a portion of what my Pastor shared during service.

Monday morning came and I had to somehow find the strength and motivation to start my day in preparation to begin a new chapter in my life. As I stepped out the door, my heart felt so heavy. All I wanted to do was lay back down but knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. So, I kept moving, all the while, holding back tears feeling like it was a challenge to put one foot in front of the other. Midway through the day, even though everything was going smoothly, I was unsuccessful in holding back the tears and had to find a secluded area to just sit for a moment. After about 10 minutes, I got up to head to my next destination when I saw the same young girl (now curled up in a ball in a doorway) whom I had noticed about 90 minutes earlier. When first seeing her, I assumed she was waiting for a bus. On the way back, she looked scared, so I stopped to ask if she was ok. Before getting closer to her, I assured her I wasn’t going to hurt her, she replied with a slight smile, ” I know”. That made me feel better about what to do next. Fortunately, the situation wasn’t as bad as I initially thought. The young girl 13 (same age as my G-son), had just had an argument with her mom, wanted to run away and was headed to a particular place but wasn’t sure how to get there.

We sat to the side and talked for a bit. I shared with her about when I ran away at age 14 because of issues with my mom. I asked her if she felt safe with her mother and if not did, she have anyone else she trusted that she could talk to. We contacted one of her teachers and in a nutshell, by the time we parted ways, she was smiling, and I could clearly see that a weight had been lifted. I was uncertain of exactly what to say to her, or even if I should approach her and keep walking. I didn’t think I was in the right mind frame to be in a position to offer any help. In part, the reason I did however, is because of a reminder my Pastor gave during service about it taking a village sometimes when it comes to our children or the children of others weather, we know them or not. I often have moments when I feel like I failed as a mom, but that doesn’t keep me from reaching out to others. Like the image shows above, children at different ages, experiencing different stages of their lives is normal. We all, at every age need help and sometimes it may come from a kind stranger. I pray daily that there are good kind people helping and looking out for my children because even though God is with us, I’m thankful whenever we get that little bit of extra help.

Before heading back home for the day, I stopped at the nearby food co-op to get some lunch still thinking about the young girl, my own children and starting this new chapter in my life. The cashier’s name tag who rang me up, said “Angel”. I smiled and took what felt like my first breath of the day. It wasn’t just her name that brought me comfort, it was recognizing the confirmation that God has been giving me all along in the last few very stressful an emotion weeks. I’ve met three people name “Faith”, a “Grace”, two “Hopes” and then “Angel”. Call me crazy or call it coincidence, but when I’m struggling, emotionally, mentally or physically often all at the same time, I have to seek inspiration and reasons to keep moving especially on the days I worry if I can even take one more step. I choose to view the encounters with these people as His way of letting me know that He is right here with me through my journey every step of the way.

Published by 5thgenerationgirl

Tammy Wynette is a mother of three and a “G-MA” (grandma). Born in Warren, Arkansas, she currently resides in Sacramento, CA and is pursuing an AA degree in English at American River College, with plans to transfer to California State University, Sacramento (Sac State). She is an active leader and role model in her community, she works with teens sharing and teaching poetry, as well as providing insight for young parents to prosper. She has certificate from NAMI (The National Alliance on Mental Illness) and is a trailblazer & Griot, keeper of stories/traditions passed down from her ancestors. As an Author and motivational speaker it’d be an honor to present at your events to inspire, encourage & let our VOICES be heard! She has short stories and poems published in Our Black Mothers Brave, Bold and Beautiful!

22 thoughts on “Mother’s Day Reflection

  1. Tammy, I’m glad that you were the angel that the 13-year-old girl in distress needed at that moment ❤ Keep moving forward, one step at a time. During my darkest days, help always came in the most unlikely ways.

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  2. The people that you met these past few weeks and their names are subtle little winks and reminders that someone is watching out for you Tammy. And here’s another kicker, my full name is Abraham. 😉 You’re surrounded with light through your hard moments.

    I’m sorry things have been stressful for you. And despite the hardships, you found time to lend some light to that young girl. Very amazing.

    I had a pretty hard moment with T today, and an angry parent, during daycare pickup 3 hours which I won’t get into right now. I’m only sharing this with you to let you know this post provided some light on this hard moment I’m feeling. So thank you!

    Let there continue to be light.

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    1. I remember you mentioned your full name before. I told my daughter about it, we talk about you all the time. For awhile, she assumed you were a local friend & surprised when I told her we hadn’t met, yet I feel like we are long time pals, lol.
      Glad I could provide a bit of light for your rough day, you have no idea of the impact of your kind words help me to keep moving forward. I thank you for that!

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  3. Sometimes when you shine a light for another, you are able to see better yourself 💞 May God continue to wrap you in His strength and peace, and send you little reminders that He is always with you. 💞💞💞

    Liked by 1 person

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