I Take That As a Compliment!

Have you ever received what sounded like a compliment, but depending on the person giving it and how it was said led you to question if it was intended as compliment or not? Well in the last four years or so, I came to realize that nearly every time I leave home someone stops to tell me (or ask if I’m aware) “you look just like Whoopi Goldberg! I’ve also heard this once or twice during my late teens; however, back then I’d slightly cringe uncertain if it was meant as a compliment. Were they speaking of Whoopi or a specific character she played? The thing is in all this time, with the exception of this past week, every person who’s ever said that to me has not been a person of color.

I mention this because I can recall a time when Whoopi may not have been viewed as what societies idea of a beautiful woman is, particularly among the black community. I too was guilty of this to an extent during my early teens. The extent being, I never referred to “Whoopi” herself, but the character she portrayed in the movie The Color Purple as Celie. The movie hit screens in 1985 and “Celie” was a powerful role. Myself, as a 13 year old didn’t fully grasp the depth of the role or it’s significance until years later. What I saw then was a weak woman who didn’t fight back or stand up for herself. I remember back then often watching as a family but not allowed to discuss what we were watching, all I saw in Celie was in fact my mother which made it hard to watch the movie to the end until I became old enough to grow understanding on my own. Growing up experiencing the abuse from my mother along with watching her not stand up for herself or me when it came to abuse from my stepfather, in my mind I would secretly glare at her from a distance and Celie was all I would see, never my mother. I’d become more outraged at times when I walked by a mirror and see a glimpse of my mom and/or Celie at the same time. This was not only because I resemble my mother, but also because I was not standing up for myself or fighting back either. Not even against my stepfathers two wicked daughters who constantly bullied me. After finally watching the entire movie again and again over the years while gaining more perspective and knowledge each time, I learned of Celie’s strength and that she is a fighter which led me to enjoy future roles played by Whoopi. Eventually I came to realize Whoopi’s role as Celie embodied exactly what it means to find your V.O.I.C.E. She evolved from a fearful reserved young girl to a strong, brave middle aged woman who refused to be a victim anymore. After discovering that my childhood experiences were my own and not my mother’s, it was up to me and only me with the help of God to change it. Eventually I did and so did my mother.

It truly saddens me that there are some who fall into the realm of accepting or going along with what society deems as beautiful. In past years I can recall hearing and reading negative comments regarding amazing women like Grace Jones, Viola Davis and others. I can’t say when it comes to Whoopi’s role as Celie how some may relate to that or what they took from it. What’s most unfortunate though is some individuals, famous or otherwise, often feed into the pressures of society and their peers ultimately second guessing their worth and as we all know may sometimes lead to unhealthy outcomes physically as well as mentally. Although I’ve met many celebrities in my time, I wish I could say I had the pleasure of Whoopi Goldberg being one of them. Even though I obviously don’t know her personally, as a huge fan who’s enjoyed her work over the years (Clara’s Heart, Burglar, Sister Act films), just to name a few of my favorite’s. I can’t say I know what dwells in her heart as to the kind of person she is, but what I do know is that she is a recipient of many accolades through out the span of her career. She’s won several awards and I’ve watched her continue to thrive and escalate at the age of 68. Not only as an actress, but comedian, T.V. personality and author. Like mine, her birth name is Johnson and I’ve been told over the years, jokingly that we may be related. To that one who keeps telling me this, PSA: NOT ALL BLACK FOLKS WITH THE LAST NAME JOHNSON ARE RELATED NOR DO ALL JOHNSON’S KNOW EACH OTHER.

Most recently it was a young black male who approached me with a bit of hesitation and said “ma’am, I hope you don’t mind me saying, you look just like Whoopi Goldberg”. His hesitation was understandable. People have shared with me how they admire my strength in overcoming obstacles and adversity. I’ve been told that I command a room during my speaking engagements or back in the day when entering a club and heading straight to the dance floor. I’m mostly known for my resilience, speaking up when necessary, especially since learning the history of my ancestors and the struggles they had to overcome. After the young man no more that 17-19 years of age said what he did to me, a woman next to him who happen to be of color and appeared to close to my age responded before I could get a word out by saying “ooh, oh no he didn’t go there girl. I wish a MF would tell me some shit like that…” I swiftly cut her off as the young man drew back into his shell anticipating my response to his words. Mind you, I don’t know if It’s the braids I’ve always worn because I’ve never worn dreads, me getting older or perhaps they see strength and the way I carry myself, but I looked him in the eyes and said “thank you dear, I take that as a huge compliment”! Seeing the glow in his face was as rewarding as the compliment it self. His expression revealed many things I thought to myself, one of which is my growth.